# possessive over water and toys



## baileymay (Sep 5, 2019)

My 2 year old female is somewhat possessive of her water and some toys and i’m not sure what i should do about it. She is never aggressive towards people in any way but sometimes she growls at other dogs and i feel like one day it might cause a problem. Anyone have any tips to stop this behavior?


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## Dan_A (Jan 19, 2021)

In my opinion it would be a good idea to teach her that the toys are yours and you are just letting her use them at your whim. Start taking possession of toys and things she is acting possessive about. Teach her it is your toy, she is not allowed to touch it when you indicated you are possessing it at this moment until you give her your command to get it. Then after a bit, take it back and demonstrate that you are now in control of the object. This is basically the "leave it" exercise, so if you already trained "leave it" use that command for this. Get fancy, have her leave-it with a toy and recall her to you so she has to pass the toy to get to you. It is a very important lesson as it means a lot more to the dog than to us. It is indicating to them that you are the leader and control the resources including toys. Right now she thinks she is the resource controller.

I wouldn't recommend doing this with the water bowl. I wouldn't want a situation where the dog is thirsty but is concerned about taking a drink. Instead practice with other items like the toys. The concept of you are the leader in control of resources should induce inference into the water. Instead correct the growling with your "no-no" word or sound when she does it with the water bowl. You are reminding her that you are the leader and that behavior is not acceptable.


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## Frida010 (Apr 24, 2020)

Personally I’m more in favour of a different approach as opposed to the one mentioned above and that is is to always trade it for something else if you take a fun toy away. Could be a treat, a bone, or a different toy. The idea is that taking away something doesn’t have to be bad, because there is also a bonus.

So we also taught our dog ‘drop it’ but we always reward, and with taking toys or bones we trade it. ‘Leave it’ for us means don’t touch it. 

However if resource guarding is already happening, I’d combine both. Trade often, but also teach boundaries en respect.


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## baileymay (Sep 5, 2019)

Personally I’m more in favour of a different approach as opposed to the one mentioned above and that is is to always trade it for something else if you take a fun toy away. Could be a treat, a bone, or a different toy. The idea is that taking away something doesn’t have to be bad, because there is also a bonus.

So we also taught our dog ‘drop it’ but we always reward, and with taking toys or bones we trade it. ‘Leave it’ for us means don’t touch it.

However if resource guarding is already happening, I’d combine both. Trade often, but also teach boundaries en respect.
[/QUOTE]
she has never acted possessive over toys towards a human but only towards other dogs, so would this training method still work for that?


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## Dan_A (Jan 19, 2021)

I'm sorry if people feel that what I wrote above as advice is treating the dog in a "bad" manner by taking something away and possessing it temporarily. I have to completely disagree. I feel the human owners are the leaders and control the dog's resources, activities, and behaviors. The trading game and treat payment method is 100% on point and great to help teach a dog the commands so that they understand what it is you are requesting of them. At some point the trade/treat becomes optional as the dog now has a full understanding of what its leader is asking. I phase treats/trades out to just an occasional reinforcment for excellent behavior and to keep it fun. Otherwise, the idea that I always need a payment or bribe for my dog to listen to me or understand that I'm the leader doesn't jive with me. Occasional reinforcment of learned behaviors with treats and praise in my book are always a good, just not to be expected all the time.

Always keep it fair, respectful, and reasonable with dogs. They are not robots. That behind said it is up to us to be their leader and to set boundaries and limitations (sounds like a Cesar Milan pitch and somewhat is) around their activities and behaviors. If another approach works for you, more power. There are tons of different theories and methods to training dogs. Every dog is different and some the lesson is intrinsically learned to not resource guard and growl at other dogs or humans over things.


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## [email protected] (Feb 24, 2020)

Hi there!

I did some digging in your previous posts and I see that you have 2 pups (abolutely adorable). I understand that Bailey - the girl - is older and Jasper should be around 5 months now. Is her behavior in relation to him? If so, it may be natural, until a certain point, that the adult female, will not allow the younger male fool around as he pleases. She is asserting her position in the pack, as the older dog, who also controls resources.

Normally, this should not become an issue - they should be able to establish among themselves who gets what and when. Jasper will learn her boundaries and in time he will develop boundaries of his own. I do believe that Jasper has just lost his puppy pass and Bailey may be more active in putting him into his place whenever necessary.

As the older dog, she may feel that she lost some of her privileges. I don't know their history and more context would be beneficial, but perhaps she should get to keep her old toys that she is attached to. I would assume that she is letting Jasper know that a certain toy is off limits - I do believe that in time they will learn to divide things among themselves. As the older lady of the house, Bailey should be getting more attention and alone time with you, which I am sure she does. Without more context, I would not be too worried if she is not willing to share her favorite toys with baby Jasper.

Also, my suspicion would be that if the behavior is new and not only in relation to Jasper, it may also be related. She might feel that the resources that were once hers, are now threatened by a new presence. I would read more into how to make the older dog more confident and secure once the puppy arrives. At the top of my head, I would say that Bailey's favorite toys should remain only hers for now, while introducing new toys that they could share. Perhaps play fetch with them with several toys / 2 people throwing and show them that there is enough for everyone.

I am not sure my advice is correct, this is what I did with my pup. He is rather competitive with other males and refuses to drop the ball when he feels that there is a chance the other male might grab it and he might lose it. We started playing fetch with balls being thrown consecutively, so that each dog got the chance to grab one. After this, Oscar relaxed and felt more confident that there are enough balls for everyone.

I know there are many people with more than one pup here, maybe, if the issue is related to the interaction between your two pups, they may chip in with some insight, or personal experiences.


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## gunnr (Aug 14, 2009)

Uhmmm,,,,, This is only an issue with another dog. Correct? She's not being aggressive, or assertive toward humans is she?
Everything that she is doing is 100% natural instinctive behavior. Resource guarding exists in all animals, and the females of the species "generally" have a more highly developed instinct for it.
Dogs don't have "friends", they don't need to be taught to "share". It is not in their nature. It is nice when they get along with other dogs without confrontation, but it is completely normal for them to not. It is what it is. 
I've had twp males at the same time and I've had two females at the same time. Same dynamic that you're identifying.
I treated them like horses in a paddock or small pastures. If I have 5 horses, I set out 7 piles of hay at least 15' apart. There will be two water tanks at least 21' apart. Why? resource guarding, and pecking order. If the horses aren't used to each other the distance increase. Don't make them figure out the pecking order with no escapes. I can't stop 2400lbs. of horses getting into it. All you can do is attempt to eliminate the cause of it.
Two dogs, two water bowls, two food dishes, two beds, and two of each type of toy as a minimum.
She will get older and may become less "possessive", but she also may not. As long as she is not forced to get along, or put into a scenario where she has no choice but to find out who the top dog is, she should be fine.

On the flip side, I believe that your new pup was antagonizing her mercilessly? Her behavior definitely lets me know that once he gets old enough, she's going to put him in his place, and "rock his world".


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## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

@Dan_A 
As a forum we give information that has worked for us in the past. Each member is slightly different, as is their dog.
I really would not be concerned over someone having a different opinion.
I myself have use different methods, dependent on the dog, and the situation.


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## Dan_A (Jan 19, 2021)

@texasred Agreed on all fronts. I was not inferring my advice was the only one to follow , just that I felt that the methods that I was describing was being called a “bad” experience for the dog. What I suggested was nothing about treating the dog badly and I felt that I needed to respond, defend, and clarify my disagreement with that assertion all in the air of open discourse.


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## gunnr (Aug 14, 2009)

Dan_A
I didn't see anything wrong with your post. As the "human" we're supposed to be controlling the situation(s). That's "our job".
Gunnr was horrible about toys. If I gave her and Tika the same toy, she would wait and try to get them both by taking Tika's away.
She would just stare at Tika, and Tika would eventually stop playing with her toy. Then Gunnr would go take it." Then I took Gunnr's toy and gave it to Tika. Sometimes I would kennel Gunnr, with her toy, so that Tika could enjoy her toy without the pressure from Gunnr. Gunnr could be a real jerk about toys.
My first Vizsla was great with humans, but he did not really want to interact with other dogs, and would get very physical with them without actually biting. He could be a little bit cruel with other dogs.
I always had to watch him around other dogs. He could be brutal.
At the end of the day, they're still dogs, and have instinctive behaviors that we can control, but not really get rid of.


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## Frida010 (Apr 24, 2020)

@Dan_A and @gunnr It was my post, but I never wanted to offend anyone, just offer an extra POV. I’m sorry if that made your approach feel bad or inferior. That certainly was not my intention. Honestly I also think that a dog should not rule you, ever. So we are on exactly the same page on that one.

But have also learned that taking things away (like the easy example of taking freedom away when you only recall to go home but never just recall for practice can make a dog refuse to come back at you) I think that taking toys away without trading can create unnecessary possessiveness. That doesn’t mean you always have to trade ofc, when I’m at the park and done playing ball, Fred doesn’t trade her ball ofc. Since the post was about dog versus dog, I think my reply was useless anyway


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## gunnr (Aug 14, 2009)

Frida010

No reply is useless. No point of view should be disregarded. All have merit ,and yours will certainley be the solution to a problem for someone.
There is no 100% sure fired, guaranteed, successful training program. Never has been, and never will be. It takes a lot of tools in the tool box because at the end of the day,each dog is unique.


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