# What if the dogs made all the rules



## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

We have all seen posts where You have to be the leader.
Others mention being the alpha in the pack, and it got me thinking.
What would our homes be like, if the dogs made all the rules.

This is just for fun, where we can post how we think it would be.


----------



## gingerling (Jun 20, 2015)

If dogs made all the rules, the world would be a far better place.


----------



## einspänner (Sep 8, 2012)

I think it would involve 30% more running and 200% more food.


----------



## mswhipple (Mar 7, 2011)

If my boy Willie made the rules, I would never, ever be allowed to get in the car and go anywhere without him. Also, more runs, more walks in new places, and of course, more food. Also, a dog party which includes all his dog buddies from the neighborhood, at least once a week. I do try to comply with his wishes, but it isn't always possible!


----------



## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

All groceries would be left on the floor for the dogs to eat first. 
My back door and gate would never be closed, and they would finally get to go after the neighbors cat. The meter reader might be running for his truck, as Cash dislikes strangers in his yard.
Don't know if there would be enough room on the bed for my husband and I.
The dogs would go everywhere with us, and not be crated in the car.
Guest would promptly be jumped on, and then licked in the face.


----------



## Rbka (Apr 21, 2014)

All leash devices would promptly be disposed of so all walks would be off leash. Tables and countertops would be a maximum of 2 feet high to facilitate sniffing and counter surfing.


----------



## momofboys (Jun 8, 2015)

Socks would be made for eating, and a place would be set at the table for him instead of sitting beside us as the table looking pitiful hoping for something to be dropped on the floor!


----------



## Vizsla_Luka (Sep 8, 2015)

If our Luka made the rules, my husband and I would have to quit our jobs and go for walks in the forest (off leash!) all day, every day.

The crate would be the first thing to be disposed of, followed closely by the car.

He'd also insist that he eats all the poop he comes across.

And more treats!


----------



## Pecan_and_BB (Jun 15, 2015)

Their version of operant conditioning:

Conditioning 1: When I jump on the bed at 6:30am and continually lick inside of your ear, get up and feed me my breakfast.
Conditioning 2: When I push my cold nose up the back of your shirt and touch your skin to make you jump, I'm tired of waiting for you to finish work and it is time for us to go do something.
Conditioning 3: When I bite you pant leg, drop some of that delicious food that you are making for yourself.
Conditioning 4: When I growl at you with one of your shoes in my mouth, you need chase me.
Conditioning 5: When I get up on the couch and continually tap you with my paw, get up and move because you are sitting in my corner.
Conditioning 6: When I drop a toy at your feet, pick it up and THROW IT RIGHT NOW!
Conditioning 7: When I fidget and grunt when sitting next to you, get me a blanket and cover me up.
Conditioning 8: When I'm off leash and I come sit beside you without you asking, get my water out.


----------



## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

Sounds like Pecan has trained you well.


----------



## CrazyCash (Jul 12, 2012)

My dogs would definitely have new rules.

Treats wouldn't be hidden on the counter in a jar. 

I would need to quit my job immediately to spend all my time with them.

The squirrel in the backyard would not be allowed to taunt them from the trees. 

Penny would demand that no man be allowed to wear a hat. 

No more leaving them home when I leave in the car, to clearly go on some adventure without them. 

Guests that come to the house are here to visit the dogs, so they need to ignore me until the dogs are done greeting them. 

Don't just take my word for it - here is Cash telling me in his own words that it's 4:30 and that's close enough to dinner time, so I need to stop what I'm doing and feed him...
http://youtu.be/g1Kku2mDTWg


----------



## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

Cash is such a sweet boy, and dinnertime is important.
June does not believe in the time change. None of that Spring forward, and Fall back. 
Her internal food clock has stayed the same, and she lets me know dinnertime will not be moved.


----------



## harrigab (Aug 21, 2011)

you've gotta sniff my arse before we can be friends...(blurghhh!)


----------



## gingerling (Jun 20, 2015)

When I roll over, you must immediately kiss my belly.

When I stand over you in the middle of the night and shake myself out, you must lift the covers so I can get under with you.

When I tap you with my paw you must hold the raw hide so I can get a better bite out of it.

You may not eat without sharing.

When you get out of the shower, I must lick the water off you and roll on you to make sure you're still mine.

You must get off the phone.


----------



## R E McCraith (Nov 24, 2011)

I'm big on being the ALPHA leader !!!!!! only when PIKE lets me - it's something LOL


----------



## Bob Engelhardt (Feb 14, 2012)

Farting under the covers isn't rude - it's natural. Don't be offended by it.


----------



## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

Bob said:


> Farting under the covers isn't rude - it's natural. Don't be offended by it.


For you, or the dog?


----------



## Bob Engelhardt (Feb 14, 2012)

TexasRed said:


> Bob said:
> 
> 
> > Farting under the covers isn't rude - it's natural. Don't be offended by it.
> ...


If it were a dog-made rule, I could live with it. <G>


----------



## Hbomb (Jan 24, 2012)

My Rules:

Leads, head collars and all restraining items are to be put in a big pile and burnt.
Treats available at all times and not just when I come/sit/do what you want.
I get my own spot on the sofa and in the bed and will not be moved.
When I whine (and I do like whining) it means I want attention. Turning up the TV to drown me out is BANNED. 
If you force me to go walking in the rain, I want a doggy coat/umbrella so my fur doesn't get wet. 
Horses, boxers, border collies, old men with sticks, and shiny laminate flooring should all be packed up in a big spaceship and sent to the moon so I don't have to deal with them EVER AGAIN.

Hercules x


----------



## harrigab (Aug 21, 2011)

Postmen are "fair game" and should be banned from disturbing morning snoozes..


----------

