# Confidence Building



## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

Does anyone have some ideas for how to build a dog's confidence? For some reason I am just drawing a blank! 

Birch seems to be going through another fear period. Ever since she was a little pup, she always barks at other dogs and sometimes people upon initially meeting them. We've decided it's just her way of saying hello. If she had a human voice, she would talk in all caps and one syllables. Anytime she approaches a dog (even one of her good friends) she has to bark hello. It's like, "HEY! Who! Are! You! My! Name! Is! Birch!"  Which is funny because she doesn't make a peep otherwise. And she's always wiggling and wagging her tail like crazy  

But... she does have a scared/get away from me bark that until now she's usually reserved for when she's really startled by another dog (like if we walk past someone's yard and there's a dog behind the fence she can't see that starts barking at her). But in the past couple of weeks, she's done that bark to other dogs walking by (ignoring her) and to kids. Her hackles are up and everything. I ignore her, try to distract her, or act cheerful but she's usually not at all focused on me at that point. I'm trying to distract her before she reacts but usually she notices them before I do! She's been super well socialized with other dogs but not a ton of kids. We still made it a point to introduce her to kids early on, but it's hard when I'm walking both dogs to get them calm around kiddos (Dex loooooves them) so we don't do it as much as we should. She's also unsure about blowing tarps, pipes, etc. on walks that normally wouldn't get a reaction from her. She gets over it as soon as Dexter or I check it out, but she's hesitant to do so on her own. So hopefully it's just a stage!

She also usually takes cues from Dexter. And since he loves everyone, she goes right along with him. 

I think I'm going to try and make more time for her to be out and about without him, so he's not always there to tell her how to act. We took the dogs to some baseball games to watch yesterday and she was nothing but sweet and friendly with the kids. But I think she gets insecure and fearful at times, so a little more confidence couldn't hurt!

Any other ideas for ways to make her feel more sure of herself? We do obedience training (at home) on a regular basis. She also gets way more "good girls" than corrections since she is such a well mannered, lovely little girl


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## R E McCraith (Nov 24, 2011)

you answered 1 of the ?'s - more 1on1 time on or off lead - Birch has 2 learn YOU are the Alpha pup & he looks 2 you 4 direction


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## lyra (Nov 2, 2012)

I have no practical advice to offer but as the owner of a fearful dog you have my sympathies.

I've posted before about Lyra and scoured the internet. I've found lots of discussions and descriptions of the problem but no solutions.

She was extremely well socialised as a pup (we live near a popular dog walking beach) and until about 10 months old she would play with dogs of all shapes and sizes with no problems. Since then her behaviour has become more and more unpredictable to the point now that we have to leash her whenever we see another dog (she gets on brilliantly with our other V and other Vs she knows).

We've finally found a behaviourist that seems to be experienced in this area who is within travelling distance. We have to attend a one day course before she will do any one to one work with you and your dog so we are booked in next month. To be honest I don't have high expectations because it seems such a difficult thing to address but I'm willing to try anything reasonable to get an improvement.


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## Vizsla Baby (Nov 4, 2011)

When we first got a V our vet asked us why we chose this breed. She said that many tend to develop fears. One piece of advice she had for us was to get her good training. She said that helps them with their confidence. It sounds like you are doing that, but with this one you might want to ramp it up some, beyond what you had to do with your first. 

Also, is she still a pup? Our girl has some fears when she was young and she grew out of them. (though bees still scare her!)


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## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

It just sounds like if she's unsure of something her hackles go up, and she lets it be known with a bark. I don't sweet talk mine if they are in that mode. I keep my body language, and walking speed the same, and give a side ways tug on the lead (using a pinch collar, that they are already accustom to) to let them know pay attention to me. If that doesn't work they may get a tap from my foot near their rear. Let me be clear, its not a kick and is never done in a fashion that would cause the dog any pain. Its where you bend your knee, and it places your foot behind you. The tap is only to get attention back to you, and can be done without ever changing your stride.
I don't have my dogs face their fears head on. We just work at a distance, and slowly over weeks move closer.

I think Birch could use some group dog training classes.
Don't worry on how well she does on the obedience, its mainly for her socialization. It doesn't sound like she is terrified, just unsure.


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## redbirddog (Apr 23, 2010)

Put this poster in her room.

Good luck. Fear stages pass.

RBD


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## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

I should clarify she's a weimaraner, not a V (forgive me  ). She's not quite 11 months old right now (interesting Lyra that you mentioned 10 months for your girl). I know the breed is also supposed to be more protective, so that could be part of it I guess.

She's been incredibly well socialized with other dogs. She plays almost daily with strange dogs. She usually just greets them with her "hello" bark which I've come to accept is just her way and her body language is always friendly otherwise. She very rarely uses her big bark on other dogs, and that's usually only if we are on leash walks (so I won't let her be introduced to them anyways - and she's probably reacting to me avoiding them). 

She was SUPER timid as a pup but really came out of her shell quickly with lots of socialization and exposure to new things. She just seems to be regressing a bit lately. Dexter our V helps her immensely with that as he's so outgoing. It's very much "monkey see, monkey do" most of the time.



Vizsla said:


> One piece of advice she had for us was to get her good training. She said that helps them with their confidence. It sounds like you are doing that, but with this one you might want to ramp it up some, beyond what you had to do with your first.


I think I will probably go that route. She's actually had way less training than Dexter because she has such great manners and recall. He was such a handful and needed a lot more rules  (Even now! Haha.) She's also not as fun to train (less interested) so I don't enjoy it as much with her, ha!



TexasRed said:


> It just sounds like if she's unsure of something her hackles go up, and she lets it be known with a bark. I don't sweet talk mine if they are in that mode. I keep my body language, and walking speed the same, and give a side ways tug on the lead (using a pinch collar, that they are already accustom to) to let them know pay attention to me. If that doesn't work they may get a tap from my foot near their rear. Let me be clear, its not a kick and is never done in a fashion that would cause the dog any pain.
> 
> I don't have my dogs face their fears head on. We just work at a distance, and slowly over weeks move closer.
> 
> ...


That's exactly what I think as well, and I'm glad to hear that's how you would handle it (as it reinforces what I've been doing). Her leash walking is still a work in progress, so I've been working on getting her more focused on me. I think that alone would help. We're trying the Halti right now (which she hates but helps some) but I may try the pinch collar eventually (she is so small and puppyish I'm dreading the comments I'd get!). I will also try the tap on the rear (I know exactly what you're talking about - I do it often with my horse). 

The fear towards kids is what has me worried, since I can't let her approach them in that state. Anyone/thing else, I'd let her check it out and I'm sure she'd get over it quickly. We've been making it a point to watch kids at a distance and she's done great with that. She was also totally fine all weekend walking past kids running through sprinklers and playing with giant inflatable toys. So hopefully it is just a stage, but I want to help her through it as much as possible


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## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

One of the other things I did with mine is take them to little league baseball, and softball games. I didn't sit in the bleachers with all the crowds of people where the pup is bombarded with sights and sounds. But instead would find a good shade tree at a little distance to watch the game with a couple friends. 

The main thing is you want it to be a good experience for Birch, and something she can build on. It does sound like she is doing very well, and your just trying to be proactive.


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## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

TexasRed said:


> One of the other things I did with mine is take them to little league baseball, and softball games. I didn't sit in the bleachers with all the crowds of people where the pup is bombarded with sights and sounds. But instead would find a good shade tree at a little distance to watch the game with a couple friends.


We did that on Saturday but we *did* sit in the stands. She did just fine, but she does seem to shut down a bit when there's so much other stuff going on (and popcorn to be found under the bleachers, haha). She wasn't worried about the kids at all, but at the same time it was like she didn't even see them (since there was so much to look at in general). We did have Dex along too though. That's a great idea to sit at a distance! She seems to have more of a problem when she fixates on one thing approaching us than when she is just surrounded by it already, etc. So it would be interesting to see how she handles that situation. I'm also trying to think of other places to take her where we could see a lot of kids from a distance. No nearby schools but maybe we'll try some new parks. Our neighborhood kids don't have great manners around dogs so not a lot of help there.

She's also very friendly if she goes up to a kid on her own terms (which is usually if they are ignoring her). For example, I took her to Tractor Supply not long ago and she wanted to go up and kiss an older child (maybe 9) on the hand. But as soon as the girl noticed her and paid attention to her, she shied away. I couldn't even get her to take a treat from the girl (and she's VERY food motivated, ha!). The girl was actually very calm, quiet and wonderfully patient with her! Eventually I had the girl walk away from her with me and Birch came right up next to her again and greeted her. She's just not all that comfortable with attention unless it's on her terms or Dexter is there to compete for the attention with. If she's always on the shy/selective side that's fine, I just don't like lately that she's actually upset/reactive about it!


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## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

TexasRed said:


> It does sound like she is doing very well, and your just trying to be proactive.


That's the confusing part, and why I'm hoping it's a fear stage. Last week she barked at every kid we ran into and a few other things. This week, no barks. Always a work in progress I guess!

She looked about ready to take down a kid across the street on his scooter last week and this weekend let a little girl ride the same type of scooter right up to her!


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## R E McCraith (Nov 24, 2011)

Dex - as PIKE ME & U Know - Tractor Supply is not PET SMART !! in Danville we walk in - ****-O 2 the PUP - we almost never meet another PUP - the majority of patrons - have live stock & PUPS - their children ASK - can I pet your PUP - PIKE on whoa then sit - wear him out !!!!!! just a differant lifestyle that I like !!!!!!! YES they do have TREATS @ check OUT - PIKE never 4gets this - LOL


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## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

R said:


> Dex - as PIKE ME & U Know - Tractor Supply is not PET SMART !!


Amen!! I love taking the pups to TSC and Southern States. If I have to run into Petsmart I usually leave the dogs at home. Noooo thank you, haha.


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## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

Oh, and Birch says "thank you" for all the great ideas


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## lyra (Nov 2, 2012)

Is that two pictures of the same dog stitched together?

One in colour and one in black and white?


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## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

LOL she is like his constant shadow


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## redbirddog (Apr 23, 2010)

These dogs do love their "people" even if they have four paws.


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## harrigab (Aug 21, 2011)

I honestly believe that the best confidence builder is socialisation and heaps of it, not just during puppyhood but right through all stages, obviously when they're still puppies you don't want to put them in a traumatic situation that'll shatter their confidence for good but plenty of exposure to good natured dogs and people works wonders.


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## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

I fully agree with you.
We cant expect something we introduced the dogs to as a pup to carry over years, or sometimes even months later. Or believe a pup will approach things the same way as a adult dog will. We humans even approach things differently as we age. We also need to keep in mind that each dog is different, and what works for one may not work on the next one. 
Dogs give off a lot of body langue, and we just have to try and figure out what they are telling us. 

Now I could be wrong on Birch, but I think she just takes a little time to become comfortable with new people, dogs while on lead, and some surroundings. If she is let to figure out someone is okay on her own, she will be fine. She just does not want them to initiate the interaction until she is comfortable with them. Its why she does the approach when they ignore her, but backs off if she feels they turn their attention on her too soon.
The stands at the baseball game was probably to much overload for her, and why she could not focus on just one thing. While you do need to work with her around kids, I would not force her to interact with them. Let it happen naturally as she become comfortable with them.


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## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

TexasRed said:


> Now I could be wrong on Birch, but I think she just takes a little time to become comfortable with new people, dogs while on lead, and some surroundings. If she is let to figure out someone is okay on her own, she will be fine. She just does not want them to initiate the interaction until she is comfortable with them. Its why she does the approach when they ignore her, but backs off if she feels they turn their attention on her too soon.


I think so too. I think I probably need to realize she's not Dexter, and not a V, and she might not ever want to be everybody's best friend too. (She often does though, I'm sure mostly because of his influence.) I'm going to try and keep my expectations realistic and shoot for her just being comfortable around everyone instead of being confused when she's not loving on every human in sight


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## texasred (Jan 29, 2012)

Well I have (daughters V) Lucy that thinks no one is okay until she can get a good butt sniff. Once that is accomplished they are good to go. But if they turn to avoid it and pat her, she will back off from them. There is no touching Lucy until she gets a good whiff. 
June thinks everyone was put on this earth just to rub her rear, and roo with. Most new people are unsure of her roo roo greetings, but the whole body wag lets them know she's friendly. People that know her walk in my door saying Juuune, and she will carry on a conversation with them.
Cash is Cash, and likes most people, but there are rules for anyone else handling him.

You just have to work with the dog you have.
Try to bring out the best in them, and find joy in their silly quirks.


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## Michi246 (Aug 21, 2012)

have you heard of the book control unleash by leslie mcdevitt? a lot of the games she teaches help to build confidence. http://controlunleashed.net/

same with games by susan garrett http://susangarrettdogagility.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zePoVo0RwPY this video has good tips on confidence building.

Teaching a sport can help like agility, rallyo, tracking, flyball, disc, dock diving, treiball


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## dextersmom (Oct 29, 2013)

Just wanted to update: Birch is doing great! I think she must have been going through a fear period. She's quit barking at kids pretty much completely, and has been nothing but friendly with strangers for the past month at least.

We've kept up her socialization but I still need to take her out and about more by herself. She's back to being pretty happy go lucky with strangers when Dex is around, but I've got to see more often how she does when he's not.

I think using a Halti helped a lot, since she's doing tons better with her loose leash walking and paying attention to me on walks. I wish we'd tried one sooner (even though she hated it at first). A quick hip check (what I call it... just that tap on the rear) works too to keep her from fixating on something. I'm also trying to make a point NOT to cross the street when I see kids or a family coming (what I used to do, since my two tend to try and jump and can be a handful on a narrow sidewalk), because I think I was unconsciously giving her the message they were something to avoid.


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